Media Notices America's Grievous Shortage of Laws

Noting that the United States is currently experiencing a drastic shortage of laws, America's media (example, but many others) have finally begun to chastise the recent Congress for being, as described by the Huffington Post,  "pretty close" to "the least productive ever."  Like fishes cast ashore flopping on the beach dying for lack of oxygen, Americans are desperately begging for more laws and for more things to be made a criminal offense, and Congress is shamefully ignoring them.

Said one man interviewed on the streets of New York, "there are barely 4000 criminal offenses outlined in the Federal code.  No wonder we have so much anarchy.  We need a lot more crimes and Congress is not cooperating."

A local business woman echoed these thoughts: "With only 80,000 pages in the Federal Register, I often don't know what I should be doing.  Sometimes I go a quarter of an hour in my business making decisions for which there is absolutely no Federal guidance.  It's criminal Congress is shirking its responsibility to tell me what to do."

Said everyone, "there ought to be a law..."


  1. jdgalt:

    Are you channeling the Daily Kos, or trying to get a job as reporter on MSNBC?

  2. Matthew Slyfield:

    There ought to be a law allowing people to beat anyone who says "there ought to be a law" to within an inch of their life with a clue stick. :-)

  3. Joe:

    The sad thing is that I can no longer tell if those quotes are satire or real.

  4. Titan28:

    Excellent. Irony appreciated.

  5. Spruance:

    Tacitus: "Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges."

  6. LTMG:

    Better than Congress be measured on how many laws enacted in the last 20 years it has repealed.