Do We Really Have to Craft Legislation With the Stupidest 0.0001% in Mind?
A pair of New York politicians has introduced legislation that would force consumer goods corporation Procter & Gamble to make their Tide Pod product less appetizing to human beings.
If passed, Senate bill S100A would require liquid detergent packets sold in the state of New York to be “designed in an opaque, uniform color that is not attractive to children and is not easily permeated by a child’s bite.”
The bill further states that each Tide Pod packet should be “enclosed in a separate, individual, non-permeable, child-resistant wrapper” and that the package they come in should have a warning label saying the product is “harmful if swallowed.”
These two legislators get their one news cycle of fame from this and 24 hours of virtue signalling how much they care, and the rest of humanity has to live with their stupidity for decades.
Even beyond the self-serving stupidity of even introducing such legislation, its specifics are even dumber, making sense only if the recent Tide pod consumption was somehow accidental, like an infant putting it in her mouth. This regulation would have done pretty much zero to stop the recent insane social media challenge that drove a few people to eat these things. Now when I put my little pod in the dishwasher, am I really going to have to struggle to get the thing out of some child-proof wrapper? We can't just put every one in unopenable blister pack and be done with it?
WesternRover:
Consumer Reports has since 2012 been warning about the danger to young children, and advocating for the pods to be made less attractive to children. The spate of older children deliberately eating the pods happened only in the last year or so, and has probably been blown up to bigger than it really is. Regardless of the other merits of this legislation, claiming that it "mak[es] sense only if the recent Tide pod consumption was somehow accidental" misses the mark, because much of it *has* been accidental.
There are certainly other criticisms that can be made, like why should people without small children in the home have to deal with a child-resistant wrapper, or why is it the business of the NY legislature in the first place?
February 9, 2018, 12:49 pmAugust Hurtel:
Absolutely. In case you haven't noticed there is a large chunk of our political class who prefer dumber voters. They want them so much they'll import them. We've seen massive demographic changes due to this phenomenon. And it makes perfect sense, once you get people dumb enough to actually vote for a New York democrat, well then, you damn well need to keep them alive, breeding, and voting.
February 9, 2018, 1:47 pmBrad Warbiany:
You put your Tide pods in the dishwasher?
Do you clean your clothes with Cascade?
February 9, 2018, 1:48 pmC078342:
Wow, what a surprise, both are democrats.
February 9, 2018, 1:50 pmDan Wendlick:
And to avoid consumer confusion, any oleomargarine products sold in the State of Wisconsin must be dyed black. - Actual requirement pre-1950.
I will admit that some of the detergent pods bear a passing resemblance to jelly nougat candies, but these too would represent a choking hazard to a child young enough to confuse the two. I will also add that this confusion is not less than one 5-year-old who mistook a cup of white powdered dishwasher detergent for powdered lemonade and mixed up a glass when my mother left the kitchen...
February 9, 2018, 2:26 pmMatthew Slyfield:
You are mistaken, the legislation isn't being crafted with the stupidest 0.0001% in mind, it's being crafted by the stupidest 0.0001%
February 9, 2018, 2:28 pmSamWah:
Would turd brown be sufficient? I doubt it. Perhaps having the legislators' faces on the wrapper...
February 9, 2018, 2:33 pmSamWah:
They just don't have enough to do, and nobody can send them home.
February 9, 2018, 2:35 pmAgammamon:
"The spate of older children deliberately eating the pods happened only
in the last year or so, and has probably been blown up to bigger than it
really is"
They're not *eating* them - and certainly not because they think they're candy. They're playing stupid teenager games and sometimes one of the idiots swallows some soap.
February 9, 2018, 4:26 pmJohn O.:
The recent Tide Pod craziness was because it was a meme that circulated on Facebook and other social media outlets.
February 9, 2018, 5:14 pmBruce Zeuli:
I think it caters to the stupid 51% of voters who will reelect these legislators so they can continue their fine works.
This is actually an almost perfect issue to champion. The harm is hard to measure but the benefit will be easy to see. After it passes you will see a few stories on TV with a Mom who will cry "Those child proof packages saved the life of my baby!"
So really perfect legislation indeed.
February 9, 2018, 5:32 pmErikTheRed:
Ah Tide Pods - cleaning both your laundry and the gene pool.
February 9, 2018, 8:31 pmToddF:
Why hate on Democrats? They're only working to protect their voter base.
February 9, 2018, 8:55 pmCC:
I have a very smart engineer friend who was able to start his own business because no one thought to regulate it (so he is free of regs) but who insists that government must protect us from every possible harm. I have told him I don't care about restaurant health inspectors and will gladly eat at a dive if they have good BBQ, but he seems horrified.
February 10, 2018, 10:00 ammarque2:
You probably could in a pinch.
February 10, 2018, 10:04 ammarque2:
I use all all packets and while not having consumed one I can tell you from accidentally tasting residual from my fingers that they taste nasty. Noone would accidentally eat one because it looked colorful. And those who do eat them for the "challenge" wouldn't be deterred by extra wrappers and plainer colors anyway.
February 10, 2018, 10:08 amZachriel:
Do we really?
Apparently so.
February 10, 2018, 12:58 pmCapnRusty:
Not long ago, we worried that robots migh actually become smarter than people.
Hah! Robots can stay right where they are, because people are getting dumber far faster than robots are getting smarter.
When singularity is reached, only the robots will know.
February 10, 2018, 1:43 pmSamWah:
No, but politicians have to somehow semi-justify their phoney-baloney "jobs".
February 10, 2018, 6:04 pmMatthew Slyfield:
What does that say about the Democratic party when they think that their voter base is too stupid to live without the government actively working to protect them from themselves?
February 11, 2018, 10:24 pmToddF:
I would say they know their voter base pretty well. :-)
February 11, 2018, 11:53 pmdavesmith001:
I would wager that such legislation would indeed INCREASE the human consumption of Tidepods since the motivation behind the consumption of them seems to be some kind of defiant signal.
February 12, 2018, 9:56 amKen in NH:
This isn't an either/or situation.
February 12, 2018, 11:19 amAunty Fah-Fah:
The Russians are going to start a Facebook craze centered on cramming driveway gravel in the lower intestine, just to watch the results.
February 12, 2018, 11:34 ammarque2:
I am not sure if any "baby" has actually mistaken the tide for candy and eaten enough to get hurt. Babies are idiots either, and the stuff tastes nasty. Kids might take a bite and immediately spit it out - lesson learned.
February 12, 2018, 3:00 pmblackbellamy:
Statistics from 2013:
17230 children under 6 exposed to detergent pods. 73.5% are under 3, so 12664. 79.7% of exposures were ingestion, so 10093 children under 3 ate pods. Of those, 7.5% experienced a "moderate or major medical outcome", so that's 757 children under 3 in the hospital for real. Of those, five (.6%) required tracheal intubation.
So sorry about your wrapper hassle. Maybe companies shouldn't make poison look like fucking candy, eh?
February 12, 2018, 7:02 pmJohnnyreb:
Maybe parents should actually be responsible and keep this kind of stuff away from their kids?
February 20, 2018, 3:49 amarmyvet70:
It is to protect the double digit IQ losers that voted for a moron like Trump.
February 26, 2018, 8:29 amToddF:
Why yes, beta. The tide pod kiddies are most certainly Republicans. Which is why Democrat trash like yourself have their backs. Or something.
February 26, 2018, 8:51 amarmyvet70:
Oooh, "Beta". That was clever. So hurt at the sixth grade mentality "insult". And I'm sure that you are a real Alpha. Ha! Ha!
February 26, 2018, 9:53 am