Christmas Advice for Those Worried About Global Warming
If you are worried about greenhouse gasses and global warming, then I have some Christmas advice for you. When you are done with your Christmas tree, do NOT take it to one of those "recycling" locations most towns have. The recycling process is typically chipping and mulching the trees, which just accelerates their decomposition into greenhouse gasses. If you are really concerned about catastrophic warming, you want to use your tree as a carbon sink. Have it shrink-wrapped in some sort of plastic what won't biodegrade and then landfill it -- the deeper it is buried, the better. Those folks trying to get you to "recycle" your tree are secretly in the pay of the Koch brothers and trying to trick you into ruining the environment.
jimc5499:
I gave lumps of coal as Christmas gifts to my environmentally emotional friends. The card said to keep it safe so that it won't be burned and add to Climate Change.
December 26, 2016, 11:04 amLoneSnark:
Could you charcoal the tree so it cannot decompose, then landfill it?
December 26, 2016, 1:11 pmSamWah:
You...you're a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
December 26, 2016, 2:35 pmboy!
johnmoore:
Well played, Coyote!
December 26, 2016, 4:06 pmAgammamon:
Or then wrap it in plastic and give to an evironmentally emotional 'friend' to protect the earth?
December 26, 2016, 6:03 pmNot Sure:
Can't we wrap some environmentally emotional people in plastic and bury them in landfills? Please??? ;-)
December 26, 2016, 6:31 pmkidmugsy:
Burying it in a peat bog would do perfectly well; no need for plastic. Though I'll grant that the warmer states in the US may be deficient in peat bogs. Clearly a global pro-peat bog movement must be launched.
December 26, 2016, 6:42 pmSteven Aldridge:
Or buy a fake tree, not as interesting though.
December 26, 2016, 7:16 pmTodd Ramsey:
In An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore said we will be hearing a lot more about carbon sequestration in the future. Yet we continue to drive trucks around to collect newspaper for recycling, when (if we are concerned about global warming) we should bury them in a well-run landfill.
December 27, 2016, 7:05 amWilliam Woody:
It's why I don't recycle paper.
December 27, 2016, 10:40 amIke Evans:
This is freaking brilliant!
December 27, 2016, 10:57 amIke Evans:
Climate control isn't about the climate. It's about control.
December 27, 2016, 10:58 amMercury:
Better yet, start a business that leverages that big, Green gap between science and piety:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/christmas-tree-brooklyn-new-york-city-recycle-donate-covenant-house-homeless_us_585c11f2e4b0de3a08f46f7d
December 28, 2016, 9:13 amSineWaveII:
There ya go. Just cut out the middleman. Problem solved.
January 2, 2017, 12:58 pm