Thanks to the War on Drugs, I Am Wasting 7 Hours of My Vacation
My company is taking over a new campground in Washington State. In that small town, and anywhere near it, there is only one bank, a Keybank branch. So I need to open a business checking account there so we have somewhere to put our weekly cash revenue deposits.
Unfortunately, many banks have crazy paranoid lawyers. Years ago the US Government implemented "know your customer" rules making sure banks are dealing with a real person and not some fake entity meant to launder drug profits to Columbia, or something. A lot of banks, including Keybank, have interpreted the rule as meaning that a business owner has to physically walk into a branch before they will open an account. That is fine for the pet grooming business next door, but if one runs a multi-state business, it is a royal pain in the ass.
Note that I have completed all the paperwork for the account on the phone. They have copies of my drivers license and all my corporate paperwork. I am looking at my unsigned signature card. But Keybank insists I go into a branch to complete the transaction. Literally I have to just tag a branch for 5 minutes to make the lawyers happy. Because making me travel across the country to walk into a bank branch makes the country safe from terrorism.
Keybank has no branches in AZ. So I was going to have to take an entire day to fly to Utah or Colorado or Washington in order to create the account, which is obviously expensive and time-consuming. I am actually on vacation soon in Florida, and I see Keybank has a bank in south Florida, so my current plan is to drive 3 hours on my vacation, tag the branch, and then drive back. Good times.
By the way, if you want a business bank that a) is not insanely arrogant and b) actually wants your business, consider Enterprise Bank in the St Louis area. I have shifted a lot of my corporate and treasury stuff there and have not regretted it.
