Bad Week Next Week

Why?  Alimentary, my dear Watson.  I have a dentist appointment at the beginning of the week and a colonoscopy at the end.  Awesome.  I will say that the colonoscopy seems the perfect way to celebrate two weeks of political conventions.  It is a sort of physical analog to how I feel listening to politicians speak.


  1. LarryG:

    hmm.... working on opposite orifices within days of each other... OUCH! Good Luck on the reaming... usually get good drugs, eh?

  2. Zach:

    Propofol's some good stuff, provided you're not using it in Michael Jackson's house. I had a scope last month. Puts you out like a light, and then when you're done, you're alert again in about 2 minutes. But they still won't let you drive for the day.

  3. Lee:

    And when the colonoscopy is over you will be venting hot air worthy of a politician!

  4. Jim:

    If you have to drink the foul liquid for the colonoscopy use swimmer nose clips (Nike are good). Put nose clips on, drink foul liquid, drink an allowed fluid to remove the taste, take nose clips off. Painless!

  5. jhertzli:

    In addition to not driving, they should also tell you not to drink dark-colored liquids while wearing a white shirt.

  6. Doc Mercury:

    The whole trick is to ask for extra lubricant. And have the camera pre-warmed. I believe they use a miniaturized version of the original Kodak 'Brownie'? That would make sense.

    Actually, between that and the dentist, I guess you could say you're getting drilled at both ends this week. Funny how that works out.

    And thanks for the $ the other day. I'm going to repay you by posting on this wretched excuse for a site on Mag's sometime next week. Our monthly "Site of the Month" came up, we drew your name, but sadly I drew the short straw when it came to what poor sap would have to write about it. I've been here for hours, desperately groping for nice things to say. I have two items on the list so far:

    1. Has really cool dog pic in banner
    2. Has spelled 'Coyote' correctly every time so far

    After that, things get a little thin. Worse, there are little clues around that things aren't quite what they appear. For example, from 'Definition of an Activist':

    "Update: Oh my God"

    OMIGOD? So it's true? You ARE a 17-year-old Valley Girl living in Southern California as the Internet rumors claim?

    To back this up, we have the post on purses. I looked around for the how-to-put-on-makeup post, but apparently it had already rolled off the end. Probably one of your first articles, given that. Bet you couldn't wait to write it.

    Further proof that your real name is 'Kylie' or 'Megyn' is that you seem to talk about the weather a lot. Real men, Kylie, don't talk about the weather; we talk about war and football and fast cars. Only old men and housewives talk about the weather. Everyone knows this.

    So, I guess we've seen the direction my Maggie's post is headed. Like any Doc M. post, it won't be pretty. To stop this exposé from being published, please deposit $10,000 US dollars in Swiss bank account #41234-24683435-2346 before Monday at midnight EST.

    Thank you, and it's a pleasure doing business with you. Have a fun 'scope'. Pretend you're in prison.

  7. DA:

    "At the end." Funny.