Hilarious New Study

I would like to think this new study was a joke like that one about the affect of different AC/DC lead singers on decision-making.

The study basically appears to be a transcribed version of some stoner late-night bull session imagining different contact scenarios with aliens.  But one of the conclusions is hilarious.  The Guardian describes the "logic"

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.

Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth's atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.

This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by scientists at Nasa and Pennsylvania State University that, while considered unlikely, they say could play out were humans and alien life to make contact at some point in the future.

Every time you turn on an incandescent light bulb, ET nukes someone in China.  Or something.  Personally I think it is at least as likely that broadcast copies of Mariah Carey's "Glitter" radiating out from Earth at the speed of light will get us pounded by meteors from space.  More here.


  1. marco73:

    That alien scenario is almost exactly the premise of the dreadful remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still." Thank God that we had the awful acting of Keanu Reeves to make sure that not even aliens would want to rent that movie.

  2. DrTorch:

    Your first link goes to the AC/DC study as well.

  3. caseyboy:

    Listen, if the aliens didn't intervene when "Jersey Shore" went on the air then I think it is safe to say they aren't paying attention.

    The climate alarmists haven't been able to rally us over submerging islands and drowning polar bears. They had to pull out "ET The Galactic Avenger"

  4. James H:

    Why would ET care unless they were concerned about using the planet for its resources? And if that were the case, and they had the capability to destroy us anyway, why wouldn't they just do that to take the resources and not wait for us to harm ourselves? There is no logic to be found here, and certainly this is far removed from science.

  5. Dan:

    Even if there are intelligent, space-faring aliens (and there may be somewhere in this galaxy), it's hard to believe they'd see earth as a threat, especially when you consider the vast distances that likely separate us from any other civilization. It's likely that the nearest extraterrestrials to us, if they exist, are several hundred light years away, a distance that would currently take our primitive spacecraft millions of years to cover. If a threat is millions of years away, it doesn't seem like something to lose sleep over

    There's an interesting theory that if there are intelligent aliens who are aware of us, they're leaving us alone, kind of like a cosmic nature reserve, to let us sink or swim without outside help.

  6. steve:

    I once heard a quote from some scientist or other talking about all the stray radio and television signals humans produce. It went something like,

    "When a canary sings to itself in the forest, it's not the deer and the squirrels that take notice. It's the cats."

    I don't think its any concern, as other commentators pointed out, the distances are immense and countless undefended saturn equivalents are much closer for resource extraction. However, I did find the quote thought provoking. There would have to be something about life itself or maybe liquid water (i.e. the climate) that was valuable to the aliens (not just resources) to have it make sense though.

  7. caseyboy:

    I must have stumbled on to a "trekie" site? Let me check the url, nope its coyoteblog alright.

    Dan, they are letting the population grow on Earth. That way it will be worth their to travel here, gather up the herd and make the cattle drive back to home base.

  8. Dan:

    That's funny, caseyboy. I wonder if humans would make good food for aliens.

    There is a great Kurt Vonnegut book in which humans are kidnapped by aliens to be displayed at a zoo on an alien planet. The aliens tell the humans that they have invested huge amounts of money for each human in Earth's stock market, and the aliens install monitors in the cages of the humans that purportedly show stock price movements. That way, the zoo-goers can observe the humans at their happiest (when their keepers decide to program the monitors to show a good day in stocks), and at their saddest, when the opposite is programmed.

  9. Mesa Econoguy:

    Brian Johnson causes more screaming, and therefore increases CO2 output. He's also a Top Gear award winner, and fast driver, adding to his CO2 output:


  10. Val:

    Does that strike anybody as completely whacky as it does me? When they have to posit such things to support their political causes, surely that weakens their position and makes them appear absurd. Their ridiculous adaptation of 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' was bad enough without having to actually try and bring out of the realm of science fiction.

  11. Zach:

    Oh, my god, they're keeping us alive until we have the maximum population that the planet can support, and then they're going to kidnap us and make us slaves! Quick, everyone, we have to kill ourselves before we become interplanetary slaves!