Six Inches from Being Steve Bartman
Today I had to make my usual Sunday morning run to the hardware store to get ... something or other, I can't remember. Anyway, as I was leaving, I looked behind be, saw no one there, and started backing up. I have one of those backup warning thingies that been when you are about to hit something, and suddenly the things starts screaming at me, and I jam on the brakes. There, cutting behind my car, is Randy Johnson, Diamondbacks pitcher and 27-time Cy Young winner. I seem to have missed his knee by about 6 inches. Gulp.
By the way, if you think Johnson looks creepy on the mound, you should see him flashing a searing FU look. This event effectively adds to my long history as scourge-to-the-stars, wherein I have stepped on Raul Julia's foot, spilled a big Gulp size diet coke on Brook Shields, added a big ink stain to Farrah Fawcett's blouse, hit Martina Navratilova in the face with a revolving door, and, uh, others I might share if my mom did not read this blog.
This is my favorite blog post ever.
And, to add to the comment directly above mine... who the fuck cares?
I've 'almost' backed into people in a parking lot, too. I've almost been 'backed into' in parking lots, too.
I'm pretty sure I flashed them an FU look, too. I'm sure I've flashed an FU look to people I've almost backed into, too. I mean, really, didn't they see that I was backing out? There was no other way to avoid me other than charging in front of a two ton vehicle and hoping the operator sees me?
So, IOW, the cult of celebrity sucks.
Ah, come on. My brain doesn't comprehend 50% of your blogs. Give me some dirt I can understand and enjoy!