Walmart Litigation How-To

Like a smoker trying to quit for the twenty-seventh time, I have tried really, really hard to limit the number tort-related rants in my blog lately.  I sometimes go for weeks without falling off the wagon,and then something comes along that is so insane, I can't resist.

Via comes this site from attorney Lewis Laska dedicated to outlining all the ways people too bored or incompetent to make money the old fashion way can try to support their lifestyles by suing Walmart.  Don't miss this page, where the attorney will sell you packets of information for how to sue for various occurrences, such as:

Parking Lots- Uneven Surface and Protrusions (16 items, $135)

Parking Lots- Improper Parking Lot Design or Marking (11 items, $90)

Entering the Store - Entranceway Floors and Floormats (21 items, $160)

Entering the Store - Doors and Doorways - Tracked-in Water (32 items,

Aisle Ways - In-Store Consumable Food on Floor (18 items, $160)

Aisle Ways - Out-of-Store Consumable Food on Floor (14 items, $120)

Aisle Ways - Unknown Substance on Floor (59 items, $200)

Aisle Ways - Packaged Product on Floor (14 items, $110)

Aisle Ways - Unpackaged Product on Floor (13 items, $100)

Merchandise - Merchandise Protruding (1 item, $15)

Shelving and Racks and Displays - Vegetable Produce Displays (1 item,

Shelving and Racks and Displays - Water/Condensation From
Vegetable/Refrigeration/Freezer Displays (6 items, $55)

Shopping Carts - Overloaded (4 items, $45)

Shopping Carts - Defective (4 items, $45)

This is only a very short sample of the whole list.  I especially like the packaged product on floor.  Get your friend to drop a box of Wheaties on the floor, and then you follow him and sue.  And how the heck is Wal-Mart at fault if you overload your own shopping cart?  Anyway, I am going to order one to see what I get.

By the way, I especially liked this whopper, I guess because he is trying to portray himself as the brave man taking on huge odds:

Most lawyers are not interested in filing suits against Wal-Mart.
The company is reluctant to settle cases promptly and fairly and almost
seems eager to take cases to trial. One of the goals of the Wal-Mart Litigation
Project is to identify lawyers who are ready, willing and able to sue the
company where a case has merit.

I hardly know where to start.  First, if lawyers are so reluctant to sue Wal-Mart, why does Wal-Mart have like 20,000 suits pending against it? (note the numbers in this article, and it is 4 years old) Second, you gotta love the part about the attorney put out because Wal-Mart won't play the part of the victim like other companies and actually demands their right to a trial.  In this one statement, you see exactly how the plaintiff's bar works - they don't really want to go to a trial.  They want to force a fast settlement that requires little of their own time and move on with their 30+% of the take.



  1. Neo-Libertarian:

    Wal-Mart Suit: Just Add Water

    What's funny is the Project is selling these packets on the free market for a price, and using the free market is what tends to attract the wrath of so many Wal-Mart haters. Deliciously ironic.

  2. upset customer:

    While I agree with the basis of your argument, not all claims are fraudlent. I personally would like to sue Wal-mart for $424 for my four wheel caps stolen in Feb. 2005. I believe I was scammed by employees which worked there.

    I was in the store past my bedtime to purchase gift shoes and supplies for Tsunami orphans. I am chronically ill and have a parking permit for the handicap parking, often bedridden. I was parked in the first position, under the light, next to the door.

    When I realized that my hubcaps were stolen I contacted management. I had to wait all day for them to call me back. To make a long story short - the man in charge of security for the entire store said he watched the video tape and (lied) saw no one steal my wheel covers, and they were still there on the video. I asked him to describe my car and he could not. I asked him if he watched the entire tape he said no. I asked several questions which he lied to. Then the store manager called my to confess that they had no tape and said she scolded her security man for lying. Then they said since they had no tape I had no evidence. The store manager then gave me a $25 gift card to reimburse me for the shoes and items for the Tsunami orphans.

    The store manager seemed very nice and said the next night there was a smash and grab in the garden department late at night. It was on video and they could not make arrests even though they knew who these persons were. She said she beleived me about the hubcaps being stolen on store property and asked her supervisor if she could reimburse me from her petty cash but was told NO.

    While I have never sued before in small claims court, I am considering taking Walmart to court for reimbursement of my wheel covers. I have homeowners insurance that pays for theft on my property for my company. Walmart has several signs posted in the parking lot saying "parking lot is under surveilance" which makes me feel safe. I find now I am not safe, and walmart lied about the tape.

    I think a store employee stole my wheel covers and when confronted by the loss prevention manager, was pursuaded to "lose" the tape or "say none exhisted". When coming into the store one employee said to another "you are still here, you punched out a long time ago". I think it is too coincidental that this employee was still there, my tire covers stolen, and the next night a smash-and-grab which per the store manager was in inside job. Why would head of security lie to me, to police, and to the store manager??

  3. mary:

    I've worked at walmart for ten and a half years now ,I worked with a bad back( from to much heavy lifting)and long hours (I worked grave yard for about 8 years)working holidays with out a complaint and putting up with rude mean customers and managers.Surgery for a torn rotator cuff,a repetative motion injury requiring surgery, and a fall off of a broken ladder.Now that I should be collecting workers comp and trying not to get stressed out the manangment of my store and the loss prevention team are trying to give me the shaft.Im sick and tired of this I think I need a good lawyer,whos not afraid of walmart.Be careful people they might try to get you next.

  4. Francis L. Holland, Esq.:

    Wal-Mart has exposed itself to employment discrimination suits today in a secret memo that explains that they're about to start firing ill and older workers to keep their health insurance costs down.

    A previously secret internal Wal-Mart memo (but published today’s New York Times) reveals the embarrassing and reprehensible Wal-Mart plans to cut worker health insurance costs, affecting 900,000 current employees, particularly the sicker ones. The memo, “Reviewing and Revising Wal-Mart’s Benefits Strategy”, says “While critics have not yet harnessed all of these facts, they are successfully exploiting those they do have, suggesting that, when discovered, the others will also become effective ammunition." Here’s the "effective ammunition" against Wal-Mart from their secret memo:

    The purpose of Wal-Mart’s new plan is to “help deflate our critics,” (p. 17) and “reframe public perception of our healthcare offering,” (p. 16) because “Our healthcare offering is also vulnerable to attack” (p. 7) “Wal-Mart is under serious attack from state governments with regard to the number of our associates on publicly funded heath insurance. (p. 15). “We have a significant number of Associates and their children who receive health insurance from public assistance programs.” “Forty-six percent of Associates children are either on Medicaid or are uninsured.” (p. 8) Wal-Mart insures 20 percent less of its employers “than other national employers”, “48 percent vs. 68 percent”. (p. 8)

    “These attacks show no signs of abating – in fact they seem to be accelerating - and elected officials are proposing increasingly costly solutions” (p. 15). “Health care is one of the most pressing reputation issues facing Wal-Mart”. “Several groups are now mounting attacks on Wal-Mart focused on our health care offering.” “These battles with critics and government are contributing to the decline of Wal-Mart’s overall reputation.” (p. 7)

    So what’s the solution to Wal-Mart’s dilemma?

    “Wal-Mart should seek to attract a healthier workforce.” “Dissuade unhealthy people from coming to work at Wal-Mart.” (p. 15) Move to Health Care Savings Accounts, because “strong opposition is limited to 10 percent of Associates”, (the sick ones who most need health care). Of course, “Progressives view such plans as a “Republican Answer”, so “Wal-Mart will have to be sophisticated and forceful [like the Republicans?] in communicating this change internally and externally.” (p.14)

    “Increase the number of part-time associates”, because they don’t receive health care insurance for up to two years “Lower company-paid life insurance.” .” (p. 10) Discourage spouse benefits “through higher premiums or other charges,” because “spouses are by far the most expensive plan members to cover”. (p. 9). “The most significant challenge here is that the shift to more part-time Associates will lower Wal-Mart’s health care enrollment . . . which could have an impact on public reputation.”

    “To “attract a healthier workforce”, Wal-Mart can “design all jobs to include some physical activity”, because “it will be far easier to attract and retain a healthier workforce than to change behavior in an existing one.” (p. 14)

    “These moves would also dissuade unhealthy workers from coming to work at Wal-Mart.” (p. 14) “We should reduce our overall benefit in profit sharing” and retirement. (p. 13).

    Wal-Mart acknowledges a “public reputation risk”: “Healthcare coverage will fall several percentage points due primarily to a shift to more part-time Associates, which could draw additional attacks from Wal-Mart’s critics,” and the plan “has the potential to upset Associates, especially more tenured Associates” but “the advantages of the proposed strategy outweigh these risks”. (p. 18)

    Maybe the more tenured, older, sicker, full-time Associates will then resign and make room for healthier part-time students?

    To Wal-Mart’s credit, they do have one idea that could improve health care for everybody, if they instituted it at all of their stores: “Continue to explore adding health care clinics in stores”, “especially as a substitute to emergency room visits”. (p. 11) I’m afraid that’s as close to universal health access as American will ever get.

    Please help Wal-Mart with their public relations strategy by sharing this memo information with everyone, particularly their long-time or sick employees, who are in for a shock.

  5. Betty White:

    The probem with wm in my state is they are racist. they only want dark people.

  6. Gaby:

    My car was stolen from a Wal Mart parking lot. We were only inside the store for 20 minutes. The cops later told us that they had beed stealing one car per day for the last week from that Wal Mart. If only they had made that known to the public, we wouldn't have parked there. I still have to pay for a car that I don't have anymore. I hate Wal Mart now.

  7. julianne:

    Walmarts problem, is in the customers they attract.
    They attract the lowest form of human kind. The ones who spit cherry seeds in the floor that they don't pay for. The ones who order from the deli and eat and drop all over the store also not paid for. The ones who bring their children in and let them run wild tearing things up. The ones who knock things down and pretend they don't notice. The ones who take merchandise and fill their carts so they won't be noticed stealing.And the people who give ther children a box of cereal
    to eat while they"shop" and the kid throws it all over the floor, The Mother then stuffs the box inside a display. Then we could talk about the filthy people who will change a diaper and stuff it under a display. Shall I tell you what they do with dirty sanitary napkins. Walmart should sue the filthy common public!