Congress Appologizes for Spending our Money

In a surprise move, the US House of Representatives, the arm of the government Constitutionally tasked with initiating any new taxation authority, today passed a resolution "apologizing for the way [the Congress] has historically mishandled Americans' hard-earned income".  In part, the resolution reads:

For years, we in Congress have held closely to the notion that we know better than the average American how to spend his or her money.  Facilitated by economists like John Maynard Keynes, we the Congress have increased the government's share of the economy to over 30%, and have invented taxes on about anything, in part by portraying every tax cut a subsidy for the rich, rather than a return of hard-earned income to the productive. 

We have taken the money you might have spent on private schools to fund a public school system that lags most of the Western world.  We have taken the money you might have used to pay your cable bill to pay for a alternative to Nickelodeon and the Discovery Channel, but for effete snobs.  We have taken the money you might have used to buy a new car or a vacation to gift billionaire sports team owners with new stadiums and to subsidize millionaire farmers who have never actually done any farming....[note the resolution continues with examples for another 16 pages]...

We are sorry.




  1. Mark Bigelow:

    So, either my wildest dreams have come true or this an April Fools joke...


  2. Jackal:

    Of course, this won't fool anyone because it's just too unbelievable.

    If only it were true...

  3. David:

    Very cruel for a joke.


  4. Lyn:

    So - At the end of the 16 pages do they promise never, never to do it again?