They Feel Safer, but I Feel Wealthier

The Onion reports that "Americans Feel Safer with Martha Stewart in Jail":

"When I found out [Stewart] was behind a 10-foot-thick concrete wall, I heaved a huge sigh of relief," said Daniel McAllen, a jeweler from Newark, NJ. "If she were on the streets, who knows what sort of business maneuvering she'd be up to behind closed doors?"

"I have a family to think of," McAllen added.

Boston-area teacher Helen Greene said she had been "afraid to leave the house" before the verdict in Stewart's trial was announced.

LOL.  Well, if they feel safer, I feel wealthier.  Last weekend, my wife read something in a Martha Stewart magazine that sent her off reorganizing her closet.  By the end of the weekend, I had bought over 400 identical wooden hangers (hint: get them from Ikea, they are half the price there as anywhere else) and a variety of other organizing gear.  Thank god Martha is in the slam so that maybe now, my weekends can be more peaceful.